you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
