Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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