I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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