so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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