If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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