I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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