Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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