So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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