she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize