You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I touched a dick in church today
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