pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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