I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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