STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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