I saw his package. It spoke to me.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
