Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
