Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
