I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize