ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
