Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
