atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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