This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
