I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
