...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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