We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
