My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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