How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
