you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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