he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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