Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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