it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
