Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize