OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
