oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
