you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
