He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
