But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
