I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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