What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
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