I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
