So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
