I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
