honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
