If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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