I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
