woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
