Cold hands, warm shart.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
