Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
