Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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