You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
What did we do last night that was yellow?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
