You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
