Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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