Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize