Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
