I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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