Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You work out of a Hotel?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize