i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
