found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
