I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
