What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
