My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
