it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Too much gin, very little bucket
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
