Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
