i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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