Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
