Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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