I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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