All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
