white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
