Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
