I just saw a hot homeless man
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
